Thursday, March 12, 2009

There's a guy I know.

Who sits in front of the couch on which I lay teary-eyed. I'm crying over the fact that I'm not good enough, am I? and I just don't understand and No one believes in me but myself. The latter one sounds kind of positive, but when the people capable of giving you the chance to prove it don't offer you that chance, you're kind of stuck in a rut.

Apart from the summer months, I've consistently been in a show during every quarter of schooling for the past four years. I didn't earn that opportunity this quarter, and I commented on how my life is going to feel sort of empty without it.

He sat, empathizing with me and reminding me that God has a plan for me, before offering me a solution: "I'll do something with you," he suggested. "We'll write our own play. You'll be the princess. And we can sing songs together every weekend." And somehow all of that seems more enjoyable, in a way, than being on a big stage this quarter anyway. :] Thanks E!

I've been thinking recently... I don't think Theatre is for me. I don't want to spend my life in competition. I don't want to spend my life all over the place, with no time or means for a place that I feel I truly belong or for a family of my own... A life like that is too big for a girl like me.

Anyway. Ten months with Ethan. Each one better than the last. :]

1 comment:

Parks And Swings said...

I think you're good enough.
You're a lot better at everything than me! :P
You rock my socks dear! ;]